Psychology says people who are kind to everyone and close to no one often weren’t always this way — there was usually a friendship, a relationship, or a family dynamic that taught them, clearly enough to stick, that letting someone fully in was indistinguishable from handing them a way to hurt you
I once knew a man who was, without exaggeration, the most likeable person in any room. He remembered your dog’s name. He’d top up your drink before you noticed it was empty. Waiters adored him. Strangers left him feeling like the most interesting person alive. I knew him for elev…